Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
