yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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