Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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