Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
