Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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