I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm getting married
To pizza
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
