2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
