Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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