Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
