$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
