you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize