so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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