This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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