Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize