You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
foreskin is a definite game changer
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
