I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
