Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
