Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
