i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
