yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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