Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
