i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
now i know why i became what i already was.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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