Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
