Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
