Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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