now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
