didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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