"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
