when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
