Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
