this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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