so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
