That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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