24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
