Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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