We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
