Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He kissed a someone with a penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
