Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
3pm strippers are depressing
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
