WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
