don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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