and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize