i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
