I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
