how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
