My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
