Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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