I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Go christen that room with your naked body.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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