You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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