I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
