did you get engaged???
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
