i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
