I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
