Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
