Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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