If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
