I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
