So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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