Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she smelled like a LAN party
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What drink are we having for lunch?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize