We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
