i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
