I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize