i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
