38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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