wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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