Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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