I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
