i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
