Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
