My balls are so social today.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
